Monday, June 18, 2012

Here get pregnant and take your meds.

I can not even think about it with out me getting worked up. I feel I have to get it all out of my system. I need a rant. Let's make it clear though I won't be mad at him forever, that would involve way too much energy. Energy I don't have. I just need to get it all out there and then move on.

I will also be referring to him as Dr. Blatt as to not confuse him with Dr. O or Dr. Redwine.

Dr. Blatt's office was like most. The waiting room had tans, whites and greens. I had to fill out my medical history, and keep my nerves calm. I knew I may have to have a pelvic examine which is not pleasant to say the least. Although most doctors say I handle it well and they usually don't think I am in pain. Apparently I am a good actor.

They call my name to soon for me to finish my paper work, but I am ok with that. I get in the examine table. The nurse asks me why I am here I say I need a Hysterectomy.

Nurse "But you're so young? How is this possible?"

Me "Well I have Adenomyosis, and Endometriosis. Although the hyst is for Adeno"

Nurse "Dr. Blatt Does excellent minimally invasive laporascopy's for those things to give some relief and there's medications!"

 Me: "Well I have had 2 laser ablations with a doctor in the Tri cities, and then a excision, and a PSN from Doctor Redwine in bend. I have also had 2 rounds of lupron, a IUD, and BCPs. So I am ready"

Nurse "Oh let me get the doctor."

Dr. Blatt and I talked for about an hour.

I can't remember all the details but some highlights.

He started with a brief sum of my medical history. Asked me about if I had any sexual abuse in my past. I don't have any. I wonder if I had been raped, or molested if my care would have been worse, if doctors would have delayed my diagnoses just by blaming my past traumas for my pain. Just a random thought, brought on by this article I got from the ERC discussion group on face book. Its written by a OBGYN and it pretty much is a ridiculous one.  

Read the comments too.. 

Then the treatment options he suggested.

Depo Provera. I saw this one coming. I have been on Oral BCPs, a Mirena IUD and Lupron so its another one I could try. The only thing is my body does not respond well to any form of hormonal treatment. No doctor has told me that and I am not allergic I just know everytime I go on one I feel like killing myself and everyone around me, and have horrible headaches, nausea, etc.

Anti-depressants. Really? To be fair they are the low dose ones that help sometimes with chronic pain but I am pretty dang sure that that is a temporary reliever. If I wanted temp I would just get a medical Marijuana card and stay on that forever.

Pregnancy. He maybe had seen me role my eyes at this one cause he back tracked, saying well uh not saying you should go out and get pregnant its just another option, pregnancy softens the body in a way that makes your symptoms go away for a while.

Then he wanted to get a more "accurate" diagnoses for my Adeno then what my records said. Because women in later stages and age usually have it.

So first he wanted to do an MRI (which I have heard that sometimes you can't see the Adenomyosis anyway). He then said "even if he saw a little bit he would not remove my uterus. Even if it was the reason for my pain he would like to try the above medical treatments first." Which threw me a little. I explained I would want to eradicate the disease (adeno) rather than take medications that don't really touch the disease itself, Of course he mentions pregnancy again.

He then says I would like you to go to a GI specialist as well and have a colonoscopy, Which would be fine and great if my bowel symptoms did not improve with both Redwines surgeries. Plus I would like to avoid a Bowel Prep as much as possible. Totally done one. (I know you didn't need to know that.)

The only thing I slightly agreed with was when he talked about Pelvic PT. Which can help Pelvic pain, although i am not sure how it would get rid of Adeno but oh yeah he doesn't really think I have Adeno sooo.

I have had 7 years of Doctors not believing me. Then a year of horrible drug treatments, and ineffective surgeries I don't think another year with a doctor who doesn't believe the diagnoses given to me by someone who understands endo and adeno like Dr. Redwine will be helpful at all. That would be back tracking.

This whole just managing thing pisses me off. He said lots of people manage their illnesses. The sad thing is while that maybe true I have tried to manage with medications already. They haven't worked. I am sure he would recommend a hyst eventually after i jumped through all his hoops. I know some people have successfully been able to manage symptoms of adeno, I just haven't and doubt I will find a mixture that works or that I want to do.

I asked him if he believed sampsons theory (for endo) or that it happens embryonically? He said a mixture of the two but mostly sampsons. I asked to get a picture of who I was working with. He then explained in detail how adeno and endo are created. Thanks for that.

This doctor mostly just solidified my decision. Its sad I had to pay $30. to get that. This may sound like I am being stubborn not wanting to do what's good for me take my meds and shut up. BUT it is my body and I refuse to go another year chalk full of pain meds, hormonal treatments and having a Doctor tell me its in my head that I still hurt.

Oh further I should say I said I wouldn't let him do a pelvic examine until next week. We also scheduled an MRI. Which I have since cancelled both, and came and visited my brother in Olympia instead. I may write him a letter though....



(The quotes from the doctor and nurse are paraphrased.)

2 comments:

  1. I am very sorry to hear all this and i know what your going through,although i dont have it as bad as you. I do have pain daily,but since taking natural remedies i feel much better,but yes the pain is always present. I hope you can get some relief hun you deserve it! all us women do. I will be praying for you and hope you find the right doctor that will help you achieve your goals. AS for me im ttc (me & my hubby) so i will have to go through pain for a while longer,but all i ever wanted was to be a mother,so thats what my goal in life is ;) Also ive read otehr women have had the hyster surgery and still have endo pain :( Just try to be strong and hang in there! *hugs* sister love

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    1. Good luck on ttc! I will probably be adopting in the future!... Also yeah, as long as you get all the endo removed before or after hyst you should be fine, before preferably, as then you usually may not need a hyst anyways!! I had Excision and although it isn't 100 percent effective It seems to have helped and last surgery for the PSN Redwine didn't find any endo. So heres to hoping I am in 'remission'! I have pain mainly from Adenomyosis now, which is like a sister to endo, Endometrium grows on the muscle wall of the uterus. the only way to get permanent relief from it is by removal of the uterus where the disease is. I have tried managing the pain is has been unsuccessful. (hence having a PSN which worked for half my symptoms, but not enough and I don't want to have to be on pain killers the rest of my life.) So I am not taking out my ovaries. Anyway! Thank you for reading.

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